Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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