Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
