Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
