remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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