i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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