so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
