question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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