Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
