I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
