Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
