OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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