Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
