I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
