He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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