we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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