New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
