So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
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wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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