i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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