So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
