We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
