We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
