I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
