tell your sister to shave her snatch
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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