There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
