I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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