Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
