Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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