I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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