nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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