my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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