I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
