i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
