You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize