yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
