I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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