I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
ok first of all what the fuck
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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