In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
