Your face is a jimmy john
Yo dont text me then not text me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
