Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
