Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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