I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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