craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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