If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
