This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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