If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That accounts for only three of the penises
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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