Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
