i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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