Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
