Cold hands, warm shart.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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