You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My breasts were aching with rage.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
