first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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