when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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