last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize