so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
