i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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