He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
