cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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