Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize