I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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