he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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