she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
