Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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