I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
